Teach them Respect for women

A disgusting event has had a tragic end. The nation hangs its head in shame over the trauma and death of a 23-year old woman so brutally gang-raped and beaten to pulp. As politicians and law enforcement officials mull over the next step, the larger India must ask itself a simple question — are we going to allow this disgust to continue and tragically so?

Some are calling for instant justice — take the rapists out, hang them and then ask questions. But the most sober in society are calling naturally for tougher laws that mandate the death penalty for a convicted offender. The temptation for quick retribution — the lynch mob style — should not take away or ignore the fact that as the world’s largest democracy, we are a nation of laws, however slow justice may be delivered. That sets us apart from banana republics.

The physical and emotional pain suffered by Nirbhaya  and her family is something that many women across India feel silently and almost on a daily basis and much of it under the guise of “culture.” It is atrocious to say that there is something called a “cultural context” to rape, and worse to make the point that the issue is best put to rest as there is a “culture” to contend with. There can be nothing more cowardly than invoking culture so as not to discuss or deal with a sensitive issue pertaining to women.

The hoopla over the tragedy will continue for some time — as long as the media keep it afloat or until such time some other issue makes the front page.

Even today one group still blames the Delhi victim and her friend for going to a late-night movie and for boarding a private bus. Why should it always be a moral science lesson for the girl, and not the guy? Isn’t it a shame that people still believe that the girl tempts the person to rape her?

So what is the answer? It is in educational institutions where extra effort must be made to inculcate in students respect for women, for what they are. This is not going to be easy in a society where women are looked down upon as the “weaker” sex, if not inferior to men. But a beginning must be made.

Placing a rope over the neck or castrating the culprits is not going to be the only effective deterrent. Sensitising people to the issue is the way to go about. Institutions of higher learning must take upon themselves to enlighten students on the rightful place of women in society and in the process highlight the troublesome issues — sexual discrimination, harassment, assault and rape.

“She” was always a pain in the neck, unwelcome even before she was born, a constant nag to the family as she had to be watched. If things go wrong, it is always because of “her” — if the home is unkept, food is bad, children are spoiled brats or a marriage is broken. It is time for the subaltern to speak. The voice might be feeble, trembling and muffled — after all this is the voice of the community that has been silenced for centuries.

Hostel Life !!!

Finally, got settled in hostel..!!!

Life at home cannot be compared to the life in hostel. Both are entirely different.

Staying in a foreign place and having to adapt to the new surroundings can at times be tough. We will have to be independent and rely on ourselves is one but some may see this as a good thing since they have all the freedom to do anything and everything they want to without being restricted or questioned.

 Lots of freedom and independence in hostel, but still life at home is incomparable.  One has to keep in mind the convenience of others in hostel. 

All busy with their ipod hearing songs and glued with their mobile talking for the whole day ;) I really wonder who pays the bill :) And myself, looking at the phone for someone to call :(

Hostel life may not be something that everyone yearns for but it is definitely a great experience. Making things even better, I am fortunately enough to be able to stay in this lovely area with everything near me which saves me a lot of trouble having to travel out to get certain things like groceries fixed. 

Amanda's Wedding

October and this month November were fully filled with surprising events :) I was trotting between Madurai and Chennai and now almost settled in a place.To me, every year, October is a month of joy and surprises and this year is no exception. I have totally slacked off on reading the last month :( And hence decided to read a novel and to my surprise, the book was something about Wedding.

Amanda's Wedding by Jenny Colgan is a fiendishly funny debut novel and is a romantic comedy like no other. This is an author who will have you howling with laughter one moment. Well, Amanda’s Wedding took me by surprise… and not in a good way. I was expecting the book to be funny as it is, after all, a book about friends trying to sabotage their ‘friend’s’ wedding. But it was just a whole mess that I was so bored reading it. If it wasn’t written by Jenny Colgan, I would not have finished it at all (and I was really bored).

Mel is a copywriter and lives in a flat with a quiet woman named Linda. Fran, on the other hand, is someone who has Mel’s best interests in mind and tries to keep her from making a ‘man mistake’ every time, but of course Mel doesn’t listen to her. She and Mel are best friends and she practically lives in Mel’s flat.
Amanda, who I cannot even call ‘poor’ despite the antics of the others against her, is a real piece of work. She is condescending to Mel and Fran, she’s so bossy, she is disrespectful to the family of her fiancée, Fraser, and she is just so…fake. While I am not saying she deserved what she got, no one deserves to be leg-shackled to someone like that. And Fraser seems so nice…although I still wonder how they got engaged in the first place. Really.

I thought Fran was nice, but in the end, I was just surprised. I mean, you do not do that to your best friend and expect to be immediately forgiven. That was just undoing several years’ worth of friendship for a guy you didn’t even love.
The only characters that I actually liked was Fraser and his younger brother, Angus. They both seem to be nice and they actually look out for each other.

The book was unexpected because it wasn’t what I was expecting of her. The love angle of Mel’s love life was just so confusing as well as the love lives of the other characters. It’s as if not one of them can get it right. Mel ends up with someone unexpected, Fran does something unexpected and ends up with someone unexpected as well, and Angus is…well, you’ll see.

My rating would be 3.5/5

Marriages ARE made in Heaven !!

Its been almost a month I have posted something in this blog. And suddenly got a feeling of posting something today and specially about marriage for the "special one" :-) inspite  of me not feeling well.

Marriage is, in essence, finding a friend with whom you can share the rest of your life. It is a decision that has to be taken after lot of sensible thinking and practical analysis shredding all pretence. Marriage is about knowing that no matter how hard your day has been, back at home there is someone to listen you through and to help loosen your knotted shoulder muscles. It is also about having the confidence to voice your opinion freely without worrying what the other person will think you. So yes, it is everything about being compatible and all the above being good friends. Marriage is the sweet and cozy symbiosis between men and women.

Vedas have described marriage as a union of two bodies, two minds, two hearts and two souls that amicably resolve to live with each other. The sole purpose of the marriage is to get a soul-mate –this means relishing the company of someone one adores, getting a shoulder to cry on when one is in despair, getting relieved by oozing the emotions out which one can’t share with rest of the world, having someone consoling when one feels left out……. and the list is endless and perspective dependent.

One wise man had said- ‘always marry your girlfriend, if you couldn’t then make your spouse your girlfriend’.

Sounds awesome but is it pragmatic?

On the contrary, in the world-famous novel ‘Pride and Prejudice’ Jane Austin quotes- “Happiness in Marriage Is Entirely a Matter of Chance”.

Neither love marriage nor arranged marriage is perfect and both have their advantages and disadvantages.

Doesn’t matter what type of a marriage is, the real forte for a couple is turning it into a ‘Love cum arranged marriage’ where parents’ and the couple’s choice concur and it is the best of the both worlds. This does not mean that parents should always concur with the marrying couple’s choice but even in case of an arranged marriage both partners should try to pepper their relationship with faithful love and understanding to make it an ideal and blissful ‘love cum arranged’ marriage.

If any of the entities in the ‘Dynamics of the Marriage’ is ailing, then both partners should try their tooth and nail to fix that problem instead of using their teeth and nails to hurt each other. In every relationship, problems arise but real spirit is continuously striving to get over those problems instead of blaming and keeping quarreling.

In case of beyond-solving problems in a marriage, both partners should develop endurance to overlook the problem and look at the life remembering age old adages- ‘what can’t be cured must be endured’ and ‘this too will be over’.

As per the Indian scriptures, marriage is a sweet relationship which gives an individual the best companion for life and it’s the duty of every married couple to honor its sanctity.

Are you afraid of the DARK ?

There was a time when Sidney Sheldon ruled the roost of contemporary fiction. Books such as BLOODLINE, THE OTHER SIDE OF MIDNIGHT, RAGE OF ANGELS and MASTER OF THE GAME were all over the place, with sales figures that resulted in self-perpetuating multiple paperback reprintings. 

Are You Afraid Of The Dark by Sidney Sheldon is a pretty confusing story and I am afraid that it’s not really my cup of tea. The book has 2 elements; either crime or a science gone wrong. Sidney Sheldon is called the 'Master of the Unexpected' as he never failed in keeping up with his fan's expectations, infact he always out did himself in his each book. Sadly for me 'Are you afraid of the dark'  was quite predictable and apparent. It was something you could call a typical Sheldon plot. The fact that I predicted each upcoming twist didn't put me off immediately. I forced myself to read the whole thing and kept reassuring myself that may be something new and thrilling pops up but that never happened and the book ended just like I thought so. But I must comment that Sidney Sheldon does write amazing power language and the power command of the characters in the book are really engaging.

Anyway, in my opinion, this is probably Sidney Sheldon’s worst work. However, do not misconstrue that to mean that the book isn’t worth reading; It is! It is fun, gripping and explores questions we should all be asking ourselves as human beings. It just doesn’t hold up to the standard I’ve set for Sheldon. But if you like Sidney’s form of writing, you can give it a try.

Welcome October :)

October is just around the corner. There are lots of things that I have to look forward to this month. Every year, it brings  in lots of surprises and hope this time it turns out to be the same :)

Had a great time reading "I have a dream" by Rashmi Bansal. The first thing that would attract you most  is its blue book cover and the fluffy white cloud, on which rests the book title. The aesthetics is in perfect sync with the title and concept that is “Dreams”. Quite naturally, the book is about one common dream that 20 social entrepreneurs have of transforming the world with their capabilities to something phenomenal. The stories are impressive because of the amazing grit and resolve that each one has shown to bring a change in the society. It's plain inspiring and makes you think, " What am I doing for the country? "

I am glad that someone out there is not as selfish as we are and is relentlessly working to bring a change in the society. There are IIT grads, IIM passouts and many many others who could have easily had a better life but chose to go down this path of social entrepreneurship.

The book also tells us that social entrepreneurship does not always mean no profits. You can always earn profits and yet be a driver of change in society. Some stories are so exceptionally impressive that you would feel the urge to quit job and do something similar. Why we don't do it, is a different topic altogether.

The bad part is it seems to have a more journalistic way of writing. Each story is more of an interview conducted by her. While there is nothing wrong in that approach, I feel it should be accompanied by immaculate writing that keeps the reader interested. This is where Rashmi fails. The writing does become dull at times, you'll have to push yourself to finish the book at times.

But it is not easy travelling around India, collecting the information, interviewing them and then penning it down to a book. And also making it a best seller. So, kudos for that. 

My rating for this book would be 3.5/5

Hmm..Can't wait for the awesome things going to happen in October. Hope it turns over a new leaf in my life.

Lord Ganesha - The Remover of obstacles

For all of us, our tryst with obstacles started even before we breathed first in this world, i.e., among those 300 million sperms travelling to the fallopian tube, one succeeded in meeting the egg and here we are reading this post. So life without obstacle is sweet without sugar. The first job of each one of us in morning is to thank God for keeping you alive to see the light of the day. When we face any problems, we tend to limit ourselves thoughtfully and tend to move into the world of depression. It is said that mind is like a parachute; works only when it is open. Life would be monotony without problems. It is those obstacles which we face, are the opportunities that make a person expand his wisdom by tactically handling those insurmountable problems.

For those believers in God, Lord Ganesha is always seen as the one who removes the obstacles in the path of success. Every new endeavour, even if it is a routine start of the day, Lord Ganesha occupies the first place in their prayers. The traditional annual worship of God  is known as Vinayagar Chaturthi. It is the day on which we offer special adoration to the Remover of Obstacles. The main sweet dish during the festival is the modak.
 Along with it, wooden apple(Lord Ganesha's favourite), and some flowers are offered.

May he remove all obstacles in pursuit of the spiritual path.